if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
