Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
