We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
