I want to make a zoo with you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
