Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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