Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
