Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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