I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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