I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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