I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
