how can u be prego again
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
