i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
