I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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