Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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