At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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