when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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