I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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