his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
