Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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