i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
