a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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