do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
