I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
