I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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