In the future we'll all be gay
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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