just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
