I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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