She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
