if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
