So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
