I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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