You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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