and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
