i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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