...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
