I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
