OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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