You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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