Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
