A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
