I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
