Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize