dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
