I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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