this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
