Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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