Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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