New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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