? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
