so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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