i need an iv and a liver transplant
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
