I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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