You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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