god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
