We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
