D3 body, D1 cock
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
