hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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