I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
