I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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