At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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