You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
