Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
