If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
