YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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