Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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